


Drug

by Lidsworth



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-09 14:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takaba reflects on his twisted relationship with Asami and comes to the chilling conclusion. Completed. Angst. Romance. Read & Review Please</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is just a small study from Takaba's P.O.V and one of my many takes on Takaba's relationships. It's a little angsty, so if you're here for fluff, you'll hate this and you'll hate me.
> 
> Summary: Takaba reflects on his twisted relationship with Asami.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the Finder Series.

Takaba didn't want this. It wasn't right. It was unhealthy.

This relationship_this drug he craved, this man he worshiped was killing him, and Takaba did nothing to stop it. He was a tool_a mere toy from the very beginning. And he knew it, and so did Asami.

The man released himself in Takaba, and Takaba allowed this all for the sake of pleasure. He inwardly chuckled as he lay beside Asami, his drug, his owner...he was never free, he'd never be free of this man.

He'd tried_oh, he'd tried, but like a stray kitten, he kept on coming back. And why, he had no idea. This wasn't what he wanted though, it was never what he wanted. Takaba wanted to be free, wanted to be happy. With Asami...he wasn't happy, with Asami he was competing amongst others to truly win the man's heart. Whether Asami knew how Takaba felt, whether Asami knew that Takaba felt suffocated by this luxurious lifestyle, Asami didn't show. He didn't care.

They picked at Takaba, they sought out his flaws, they sought out everything he wasn't.

Powerful...no.

Money…no.

Looks...well, yes, but they never helped him. His looks only got him into shitty situations that Asami had to bail him out of. He was an embarrassment in the underworld, he was nothing more than a pleasure toy and everyone knew it. They all believed he spread his legs for any rich man whom was begging to get some, and when he didn't do so willingly, they got what they wanted forcefully.

And what did they leave in their wake? A broken Takaba, a tainted Takaba...and Asami would save him, and he'd have sex with Asami, and he'd be caged again, and he'd be stolen again, and the cycle would continue and continue until Christ himself came to save Takaba from this exhausting lifestyle.

And for that, Takaba loathed Asami with every fiber in his being, he wanted the man dead, he wanted the man out of his hair. What began as rape blossomed into...into this twisted relationship, and night after night, Takaba was taken against his will, painfully and cruelly.

Had it not been for his own hormones, the entire ordeal would have been traumatic.

Would have been? It still was, and what sickened Takaba more than anything was the fact that he'd grown used to it, that he'd grown accustomed to this...to this monstrosity!

This wasn't who he was, this would never be who he was.

But Asami had taken his rights away from him, had caged him up against his will. He'd turned him against his friends, turned him against his family, and more importantly, he'd turned Takaba against himself.

Takaba wanted help, he needed help. But Asami denied him of that too.

Takaba didn't want this, he never wanted this. It wasn't right, and it wasn't healthy.

But he could do nothing to escape this life. So, perhaps death was his only option?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami's perspective of his relationship...

So maybe he was a little bit of a control freak. Maybe he kept a hold of Takaba just a little too tightly.

He didn't want to hurt the boy, nor did he want Takaba to hate him. But he'd failed terribly at both personal goals, so terribly. Not only did he hurt Takaba, he continued to do so, night after night, day after day. He broke the boy, he made him his, and in return, he'd caused Takaba to hate him.

No sacrifice no victory.

But what victory was there?

A caged pet was nothing but an eyesore and a burden, and an angry pet was much worse.

What did Asami want? A servant? A slave? Pleasure? Release? Sex?

Love?

He denied the four letter word and cursed it for it's spellbinding magic. Love had only betrayed him, it had hurt him and ruined him. His past had held tribute to the times he'd let love ruin him and to the times he'd tried to give his heart out again.

For every time his heart was broken, for every time his trust was shattered, he closed himself off from others, he grew more controlling, more silent, more guarded. .

He became the Asami Ryuichi which Takaba had come know.

And Asami could never let Takaba in, never. And perhaps that's the reason why this relationship had lasted, because Asami refused to let Takaba inside of his heart, thus evaporating any chances the photographer had of crushing him for good.

The heart was a fragile being, and love was the strongest weapon. It brought down the strongest and the most powerful. Asami was no exception.

Takaba would never get that chance to break Asami, yet, he'd never get the chance to leave either. Asami couldn't stand the thought of this_this being leaving him, and this is where he was at odds with himself.

Because truly, Takaba was more than a good fuck (not that he wasn't).

But there was something else, something that none of Asami's other partner's had showed to him. He could never put his finger on it though. Perhaps it was the extra time the photographer put into cooking his meals, the occasional head massages...or the way the rooms were cleaned when Asami got back from work, or how the laundry was neatly folded around the area_Or the fact that Takaba was just there waiting for Asami.

His other partners never did that, they just wanted money and sex. Takaba wanted neither.

So what was it he had that they didn't? Manners? That was a start, but it was more...care, consideration?

And at times like this, Asami found himself questioning what exactly what love was.

He was sure he'd seen it's cruel side, he'd felt it bring him to his knees, he'd felt it leave him alone.

So what did Takaba offer? Hate? Because surely, that was the opposite of love and trust, something he was sure he and his other partners exchanged.

Did he fear that Takaba was going to love him? Did he fear that he was going to love Takaba?

Yes, which is exactly why he kept him caged, why he kept him hurt and confused.

He couldn't have Takaba loving him, and he defiantly couldn't have Takaba leaving him.

He...valued the young man too much. He would never love him though, it was too risky, to dangerous.

So yes, maybe he was a little bit of a control freak. Maybe he kept a hold of Takaba just a little too tightly. But it was all for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you've been told something is one thing for your entire life, and have no idea what it actually is, you turn out to be a confused person. You're ignorant of the real definition, and therefore act on what you know. Take racism for example.
> 
> In Asami's case, it's love. Whatever past relationships Asami had is up to the readers interpretation, but i'm sure they were terrible if Asami turned out the way he did. He's guarded for a reason, and I think it came with poor judgment and a bad experience. Break ups make people bitter.
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, have a nice week, and God bless!

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'll post Asami's P.O.V later, depends on the feedback I get.


End file.
